You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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