Duck Duck Cougar?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
