I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
