we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
