if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
