I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize