I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
