The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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