David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
