do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
