so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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