Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
What a dumb baby whore.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
