Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
