So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
