i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
