I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
