I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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