The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
