nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
