So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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