If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
