So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
