I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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