Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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