Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
