it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm passing your future prison.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
