i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
