We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
