I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
