I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
