i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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