she was so not down for the gang bang
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
