Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
