i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
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