It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
