from now on my penis is your penis
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
