so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
