would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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