Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
