K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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