I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
