You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
