I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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