it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
