I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
