I wanna bring you to show and tell
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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