ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think a kid would responsible me up
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
