i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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