Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
