Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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