i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
