dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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