i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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