They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
