Screwed.edu
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
