sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
