Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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